Why Dad Mode Activated?
Dad Mode Activated celebrates late-blooming fathers who are redefining modern parenthood.
Five years ago, on Valentine's Day, I became a father in my early forties. Just over four years later, I welcomed my second child.
I can't pinpoint exactly when I first felt self-conscious about my age. Perhaps it was the midwife's slight pause when I stated my birth year — that moment when she processed I was born in the seventies, not the eighties. Or maybe it was being mistaken for my son's grandfather at a soft-play center by a grandmother who seemed around my age herself.
These misconceptions, while uncomfortable, weren't entirely surprising. The average age for first-time fathers is 31 in Denmark and the US, slightly higher in the UK. But as I navigated this new chapter, I began noticing men like myself everywhere: fellow forty-and-fifty-somethings with salt-and-pepper beards and crow's feet, carrying newborns in slings or pushing toddlers on swings.
Many were friends, and most were first-time fathers. Others were experiencing parenthood again with new partners, having had their first children in their twenties. The statistics backed up my observations: in the US, more than 10 percent of newborns have fathers in their forties or older. In the UK, it's more than 15 percent.
Mind the gap
This revelation led me to an unexpected conclusion: there's a significant gap in the conversation around fatherhood. Where are these older dads in popular culture? Why does every discussion about fatherhood assume men are in their twenties or thirties? What makes the experience of fatherhood in your forties or fifties unique? What are the distinct joys and challenges?
I found myself wrestling with numerous questions: How do older fathers balance career and family? How does age influence their parenting philosophy? Do they leverage their life experience to make better parenting decisions? How do they maintain physical strength, mental acuity, and creative fulfillment?
As I connected with other late-blooming fathers, I discovered they, too, grappled with these questions — silently. This didn't surprise me. Men in their forties and beyond often have shrinking social circles and report increasing levels of loneliness, social isolation, and depression.
In pod we trust
I decided to address this void through podcasting. Yes, I recognize the irony — adding another podcast featuring middle-aged men talking to middle-aged men. But Dad Mode Activated aims to spotlight late-blooming fathers who are redefining modern parenthood. Together, we’ll share stories, offer advice, and occasionally laugh about keeping up with our children despite our creaking knees.
I invite you to listen, especially if you're a father over 40 or raising young children with one. Whether you're expecting your first child, deep in the trenches of parenthood, or simply curious about this growing trend, I hope you'll find value in the conversations — and if any of the episodes resonate, please share them with others who might appreciate them.